A Story of God's Faithfulness, Mental Health, and Miraculous Survival.
"I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord."
— Psalm 118:17 (KJV)
About the Book
Why HE Kept Me is the latter. I didn't sit down one day with a cup of tea, some outline software, and a game plan for a memoir. This book was my mother's idea. I wrote it the way survivors breathe after resurfacing — instinctively, urgently, gratefully. Each chapter came from a moment I wasn't supposed to live through, a night that almost wasn't followed by a morning after, or a season that nearly swallowed me whole.
This book was born in therapy sessions. In hospital rooms. In silent car rides where I had to remind myself that I mattered. It grew in the pages of journals stained with tears, and in the miraculous spaces where God met me — even when I didn't know how to meet Him back.
I wrote this book because silence was suffocating me.
I wrote this book because generational struggles needed language.
I wrote this book because somebody is living what I lived — and thinking they're alone.
I wrote this book because the stigma around mental health in our community has cost too many lives already.
I wrote this book because writing was part of my healing.
And now, I pray reading it becomes part of yours.
This is not a story about perfection. It is a story about preservation. Not about how strong I was — but about how faithful God was. Welcome to my testimony. Welcome to the truth behind the smile. Welcome to the chapters God refused to let end in tragedy.
Co-written with my mother, Carolyn Virginia Burt, and releasing on her birthday by design. Because she is the reason there is a story to tell.
I am not the man who almost let go. I am the man God refused to release. — From the Afterword
The Journey, in Seven Parts
Twenty-nine chapters arranged in seven movements — the arc of survival becoming testimony.
Where faith was planted. Decatur to destiny.
When purpose meets pressure. Engineering dreams and detours.
Love, loss, and letting go. The mother's release.
When the mind turns. April 29, 2018 — the first time I lost control.
The valley of the shadow. The garage. November 26, 2023.
Room 235. Signs and symbols. When training meets the moment.
The purpose behind the pain. When God says rest.
From Chapter 13 · A Storm Worth Naming
Real voices, whispers, or shouts that the brain cannot distinguish from actual conversations.
Seeing vivid, solid figures — such as the ThunderCats — standing in a room as if they were real.
Physical sensations of crawling, pressure, or internal "fire" on the skin with no source.
The experience of smelling things that are not physically present in the environment.
The false perception of tasting flavors or substances without eating or drinking.
Even with medical compliance, episodes can still occur under fatigue, trauma, or high stress.
Hallucinations are managed by medical compliance — therapy, medication, sleep, and sober community. Schizoaffective disorder is not erased by faith or willpower. It is held by structure, grace, and the willingness to keep showing up.
Chapter 13 · April 29, 2018 — The First Time I Lost ControlCrisis Intervention Resources
"Do you have a CIT-trained officer available?" — the seven words that can change a mental health emergency from a tragedy into a turning point.
CIT stands for Crisis Intervention Team — police officers who have completed at least 40 hours of specialized training in mental health recognition, de-escalation, and connecting people in crisis with treatment instead of incarceration.
Some cities also have a Community Response Team (CRT), where a licensed mental health clinician responds alongside or instead of police.
When calling 911 for a mental health emergency, the most important sentence you can say is:
"I need a CIT-trained officer. This is a mental health crisis, not a criminal matter."
If a CRT exists in your area, ask for them. Repeat this calmly. Dispatchers are trained to route accordingly when asked directly.
Find your local CIT program through CIT International at citinternational.org.
Save your local non-emergency line in your phone today, alongside 988 and your local mobile crisis number. In a crisis, you will not have time to search.
In May 2025, Thoris called 911 on himself during a hallucination episode. The CIT-trained officers from the Orange County Sheriff's Office who responded did so with no handcuffs, no weapons drawn, and no escalation. The doorbell camera caught it all — and that night became one of the central chapters of the book.
When Training Meets the MomentThe Final Word
"I survived the garage. I survived the fog. I survived the divorce. I survived the hospitalizations. I survived the shame. And I survived long enough to understand why."
Your story is not finished. The fact that you are reading this page is proof.
Your testimony belongs to every person fighting the same battle in silence.
You may be the one who stops the cycle of silence, shame, addiction, or despair.
God doesn't keep you alive to leave you wounded. He keeps you alive to heal you.
Your children don't need a perfect parent. They need a present one.
Your existence is warfare. Your breath is rebellion against darkness.
Jude 1:24 says He is able to keep you. What God holds, nothing can take.
The Authors
Mother and son, side by side. Two voices. One testimony. Both names on the cover by design.
Chapters & Reflections
Field notes from the journey behind Why HE Kept Me — testimony, teaching, and truth from the chapters that almost ended in tragedy.
"For I know the plans I have for you …" — Jeremiah 29:11
Outside toilets. Well water. No electricity at first. Three children, one mother, the projects. And the day God said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you," and a Huntsville family packed for Orlando — to a destiny they could not yet see.
Read the chapter"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills …" — Psalm 121:1–2
A Doo-Doo Brown 1983 Ford Escort. Stick shift. Four-speed. No A/C. No radio. And a hill outside Alabama A&M that taught a young mother — and a generation of neighborhood children — how to balance pressure, faith, and the slow climb of life.
Read the chapter"He healeth the broken in heart …" — Psalm 147:3
Six patrol cars. Mama crying. A man who could not recognize his own reflection. The first hallucination. The chapter I almost did not write — and the moment that made the rest of the book possible.
Read the excerpt"He sent his word, and healed them …" — Psalm 107:20
The garage. The car. The plan. The night the enemy whispered that my life insurance was worth more than my life. The night God said otherwise. The night I learned that depression is a liar.
Read the excerpt"He restoreth my soul …" — Psalm 23:3
Healing. Reconciliation. Recovery. Return. Four paintings on a wall I never asked for. A mentor who saw what I could not yet see. The room that became holy ground.
Read the chapter"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart …" — Psalm 34:18
May 2025. Hallucinations. No sleep. I picked up the phone and did what most Black men are afraid to do — I called 911 on myself. CIT-trained officers. No handcuffs. No weapons. Just help that arrived trained.
Read the chapter"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden …" — Matthew 11:28
Forty-seven was not just an age. It was a message — a spiritual callback to where the story began. "Your work began at fourteen. At forty-seven, I'm returning you to rest."
Read the chapter"To him who is able to keep you from stumbling …" — Jude 1:24–25
In the end, when all the pages close, one truth rises: God kept me. He kept me because purpose must live. Because destiny must speak. Because someone needs what I survived.
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